One question we frequently get asked at Heartland Counseling Center is “when should a couple attend marriage counseling?” or “when is it time to seek couples counseling?”
So what’s the short answer? The best time is generally before many couples finally decide to get outside help from a marriage counselor.
Of course relationships tend to be a little more complicated than that. So here are a few clues that it may be time to see a marriage counselor to give your relationship a little “tune up.”
Problem 1: Strained communication between partners
If there is one common theme that pervades all relationship struggles, it would have to be communication problems. Almost all issues that lead couples to seek marriage counseling can be traced back to communication problems. Communication problems often start small and then worsen over time if partners don’t make a conscious effort to correct course. Maybe you feel like it’s impossible to talk to your partner without yelling. Or maybe you feel like there’s too much distance between you to be able to openly communicate your feelings.
How Marriage Counseling can help:
Trained marriage counselors can help you and your partner learn to openly verbalize needs to each other. Marriage Counselors can teach you to verbalize feelings and needs via I Statements and other methods of effective communication. By improving your relationship skills with your partner, you will be more able to deal with any challenges that strain your relationship in the future.
Problem 2: Infidelity or Cheating
Marriage Counseling after cheating and infidelity is a very common reason many people seek relationship help. When cheating and infidelity occurs, trust is damaged and there is generally an emotional void left behind. When trust is damaged this severely, it takes time and effort from both partners to overcome the obstacle and get their relationship back on track.
How Marriage Counseling can help:
Marriage Counseling can help partners identify strained areas of the relationship that were likely present even before the cheating occurred. Marriage Counseling can help you and your partner work to strengthen communication skills and rebuild trust following infidelity.
Problem 3: Sexual problems
Often couples come to see us with what they see are irreparable sexual problems. It’s not uncommon for partner’s sexual needs to change over time and evolve during the relationship.
How Marriage Counseling can help:
Couples Counseling can help you and your partner verbalize and articulate your sexual needs to one another and work with you to reach a common ground that will meet both of your needs.
Problem 4: Parenting issues
While it’s not uncommon for couples to have differing views on parenting, on occasion these differences are more extreme and can lead to relationship problems. Whether it’s dealing with a defiant child in elementary school or a disrespectful teen in high school, parenting-related stress can take a toll and lead to relationship problems.
How Marriage Counseling can help:
Effective parenting is a challenge in and of itself. Parents simply must be on the same page with parenting beliefs and practices if they want to be successful with a challenging child. Children have an uncanny knack of being able to tell if you and your partner are not on the same page with expectations and consequences. Counseling can help you both solidify expectations and get on the same page to avoid future conflicts. This improves things for your and your partner, as well as your kids.
So there you have it– some of the more common answers to the question “when should a couple seek Marriage Counseling?” At Heartland Counseling Center, marriage counselors are specifically trained to address marriage counseling and couples counseling issues to help strengthen or rebuild your relationship. Contact us today to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation to see if we can help!
