Top 5 Communication Problems that can lead to Divorce and what you can do to fix them!
Many studies have shown that communication problems are the number one reason that couples get a divorce. Whether it’s nagging or some of the other communication problems that follow, poor communication is often a big drag when it comes to otherwise happy, healthy marriages. So if your marriage is currently strained and you feel that poor communication is to blame, check out some of these tips to learn what you can do to improve your communication skills and strengthen you marriage as well!
1) Not being genuine.
You may often find yourself not being totally honest and true about your own feelings or needs. Maybe this is impacting your relationships at home, at work, or in other personal relationships. While you might sometimes feel that you are protecting your spouse or partner by not openly expressing your own feelings so often you’re actually damaging your relationship. If you aren’t comfortable expressing the feelings in the moment, you can always ask your partner to give you some time to think it over and then come back to the discussion calmer and better prepared.
2) Sending Mixed Messages.
Communication comes in two main forms; verbal and nonverbal. Mixed messages occur when your verbal and nonverbal communication do not align. This can occur with a partner or spouse, or in other relationships with friends or co-workers. When this happens, you could unknowingly force the person to “shut down” when communicating with you. You can try preventing this by making eye contact and engaging in active listening, instead of simply planning what you will say next. Active listening is important for all communication, whether in a romantic relationship or otherwise.
3) Being too Competitive.
Communication problems also occur when one partner is more concerned with winning the argument than solving the problem. Being judgmental, blaming, or being defensive in an argument only leads to communication breakdown and does nothing to solve the real problem or issues at hand. Be careful to allow your partner time to speak their mind. Be watchful of your personal desires to “win” and how these could actually be creating a relationship where you both “lose,” i.e. in a divorce or separation.
4) Interrupting and not allowing your partner time to answer.
This goes right along with the previous problem of being too competitive. No matter who you’re communicating with, be sure to make time for the other person to respond and speak his or her mind. If not, communication problems could be the death of your marriage. It’s no fun to have a conversation with someone who will not listen to your perspective on the situation.
5) Too much focus on the Negative.
It’s important to focus on the positives and not dwell on the negatives. If you agree on even one aspect of the discussion, build on that and try to see where you and your partner can go by simply cooperating. The old adage “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” rings true in this situation!
By taking these tips to heart, hopefully you can identify and change the communication problems plaguing your relationship before you and your partner become yet another divorce statistic. If you feel like your communication problems have gone too far to fix on your own, check out our Marriage Counseling Services to see how we can help.